I am not a mother

by Maya McOmie

I am not a mother

of a god; I am not
religious entity. I am not illusion: not water,
not the damp, scented earth under feet.
I am no good mother, nor the goddess
of spring; I’m not a people, populating
regions of land. Not one of the eldest,
not a Pleiades. Never was enlightened. I’m
not mine, or sound like a cat’s howled protest.
I’m not a ballerina, at least anymore. Never
was Greek, Hebrew, Russian. I’ve only
ever wanted to be myself—only wanted
to be real. Not illusory. Not fantastical.
Not otherworldly, nor the earth itself,
but of this earth, this place: my own
making.

母でもない

神でもない—宗教
の人物でもない。幻でも、水、
湿った、香る足下の地でもない。
良き母、春の女神
ではなく、ある地域に
根付いた人々でもない。
昔からの、年長、プレアデス
でもなく、啓発なんてしていない。
自らのもの、猫の驚いた鳴き声、
バレリーナでもない、もう。ギリシャ、
ヘブライ、ロシアのものでもない。
自分でありたいだけ。本当
でいたいだけ。錯覚でなく、空想的でもない。
別世界でも土地そのものでもなく、
土のもの、ここのもの—自らの創造。

Notes:
“I am not a mother” references several deities, peoples, and figures that share the author’s first name. It is also a bilingual poem, where the English version is followed by the same text in Japanese translated by the poet.

 Maya McOmie is a biracial/queer writer with connections to Ohio, the West Coast, and Tokyo, Japan. She holds an MFA in Poetry from the Ohio State University; her work has appeared in New World Writing, Mantra Review, and Beacon Quarterly, among others. Lately, she has been watching 90’s TV shows on YouTube and looking up recipes for unused ingredients in her pantry. Her poems attempt to process the complexities of identity, family, memory, and ritual.