No Diggity

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“Memory Versus Dream” by Jayne Marek

Shorty get / down / good lord / and yes the lord / is good / the lord is / as lonely / as I feel / in the darkness / of a strange city / and the lord / points / me to the light / I say twice on Sunday / and mean I see a savior / in everyone / my niggas say we come / from kings / and they mean / our fathers / have blood / on their hands /they mean / someone had to die / for the money in our pockets / money which tonight / is fanned out / like the wings of a hunting / falcon / across the face / of a counter / at a fried chicken joint / where they serve / what our mothers taught us / how to cook in their kitchens / what our mothers learned / from their mothers / and their mothers before them / and so we are here / in honor of the first / black / woman / to drop anything / in hot oil / in honor of the first / black / woman / to prepare a feast / for a family / while her own children / held their aching / and hollow stomachs / In honor of this / I will be fed / by someone else’s hands / tonight / I will laugh at the bad / joke / I will say make love / and mean the sound / and open palm makes / when it slaps a table / while holding a card / and the fate of an entire / night’s humor / everyone I roll with / is not above taking / into ourselves / that which will one day / kill us / something fried / to praise / in the name of our small / and generous lords / I say twice on Sunday / and mean I stay one foot / in the grave / with the flyest / kicks on / I mean / I’m back on my bullshit / I’m back in my feelings / again / and I think / I’m going to stay / this time / everything I miss / is a monument / I cannot see through / and yet / a small child / smiles at me / from over / their mother’s back / and I name the child / after all of you / I build them a small / future / and listen / if I am being honest / I am weary tonight / of giving the bullet / more space than the living / tonight I want a meal / I could have made / in my own kitchen / with my mother’s arms / over my shoulders / tonight I want no love / that doesn’t crumble / and stain every part of me / it echoes through / tonight / I will watch the stars rust / in the arms of no one / turns out / daylight is the new / misery / and I am drowning / I am drowning / I am drowning / party’s over boys / where we going / for breakfast

By Hanif Abdurraqib

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